Title

Genre: Comedy

Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Starring: Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris

Summary: Six years after their Guantanamo Bay adventure, stoner buds Harold Lee and Kumar Patel cause a holiday fracas by inadvertently burning down Harold’s father-in-law’s prize Christmas tree.

Rated: Happy

Title

Genre: Drama, Horror

Director: Guillermo Del Toro

Starring: Marisa Paredes, Eduardo Noriega, Federico Luppi

Summary: It is 1939, the end of three years of bloody civil war in Spain, and a ten-year-old boy named Carlos, the son of a fallen Republican war hero, is left by his tutor in an orphanage in the middle of nowhere. Not long after Carlos’ arrival, the orphanage’s ghost latches onto him, badgering him incessantly at night and gloomily intoning, “Many of you will die.” As if that wasn’t enough to keep the orphanage’s occupants in an unrelenting state of terror, there’s the un-exploded bomb that dominates the orphanage’s courtyard, still ticking away. With the orphanage left defenseless by its isolation, and the swift progression of Franco’s troops, the ghost’s prediction seems depressingly accurate.

Rated: Sad
Sub-category: Creepytastic, Fucking Heartbreaking

Title

Genre: Drama

Director: Spenser Susser

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Natalie Portman, Devin Brochu, Rainn Wilson

Summary: A young boy has lost his mother and is losing touch with his father and the world around him. Then he meets Hesher who manages to make his life even more chaotic.

Rated: Bittersweet

Title

Genre: Drama, Fantasy, Romance

Director: Vincent Ward

Starring: Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr

Summary: Chris Neilson dies to find himself in a heaven more amazing than he could have ever dreamed of. There is one thing missing: his wife. After he dies, his wife, Annie killed herself and went to hell. Chris decides to risk eternity in hades for the small chance that he will be able to bring her back to heaven.

Rated: Happy
Sub-category: Happiness Is Just Bursting From My Seams, I Am Totally Crying From Happiness Right Now

Title

Genre: Comedy, Crime

Director: Darren Stein

Starring: Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart

Summary: Three of the most popular girls at Reagan High accidentally kill the prom queen with a jaw-breaker when a kidnapping goes horribly wrong.

Rated: Happy

Title

Genre: Action, Drama, Sci Fi

Director: Rupert Wyatt

Starring: James Franco, Andy Serkis

Summary: During experiments to find a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, a genetically-enhanced chimpanzee uses its greater intelligence to lead other apes to freedom.

Rated: Happy, Cliffhanger
Sub-category: Oh Wow You’re Setting Up For a Sequel

Title

Genre: Thriller, Horror

Director: Troy Nixey

Starring: Katie Holmes, Guy Pierce

Summary: A young girl sent to live with her father and his new girlfriend discovers creatures in her new home who want to claim her as one of their own.

Rated: Sad
Sub-category: Creepytastic

Title

Genre: Adventure, Biography, Drama

Director: Danny Boyle

Starring: James Franco, Amber Tamblyn

Summary: A mountain climber becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering alone near Moab, Utah and resorts to desperate measures in order to survive.

Rated: Bittersweet

Genre: Drama

Director: Peter Kosminsky

Starring: Alison Lohman, Michelle Pfeiffer, Renee Zellweger

Summary: A teenager journeys through a series of foster homes after her mother goes to prison for committing a crime of passion.

Rated: Bittersweet, Reader Poll

Genre: Horror, Thriller

Director: Sam Raimi

Starring: Alison Lohman, Justin Long

Summary: A loan officer who evicts an old woman from her home finds herself the recipient of a supernatural curse. Desperate, she turns to a seer to try and save her soul, while evil forces work to push her to a breaking point.

Rated: Sad
Sub-category: Creepytastic